When you announced your engagement to your loved ones, their reaction was probably what you anticipated: excitement, happiness, and enthusiastic congratulations. On the other hand, when you decide to get a divorce, there’s no obvious or easy way of breaking that kind of news. Telling your friends and family about the divorce is going to be awkward and emotional, and many of them may not know how to react, but there are ways that you can make the process easier for yourself and for them. Let’s go over the primary ones below.
Write a Script
Yes, the thought of using a script may feel rehearsed and even insincere. However, when you deliver your words with honesty, there’s nothing wrong with preparing what you want to say. It could be something along the lines of, “Our marriage has become really difficult for both of us, and we’ve decided that divorce is the best solution.” It doesn’t have to be more than that if you don’t want it to be. A succinct, prepared explanation could be enough to tide you over until you’re more ready to discuss it with those you trust. In addition, the goal of your announcement should be to get the support you need without disparaging your spouse.
Telling Your Children
Your children deserve to be the first to know. Get ready for a lot of anxious questions about the changes in their routines. Children tend to be worried about matters such as where they’re going to live, if a beloved pet will be staying with them, which school they will be going to, and if they’ll still see their friends. They may also blame themselves for the marital breakdown, so now is the time to assure and reassure them constantly that both parents still love them and that that will never change.
If you and your spouse are able to have this difficult discussion together, it sets the stage for a positive co-parenting arrangement. It shows the children that even though you will no longer be married, you will always be there for them as parents.
Telling Your Family and Friends
If you and your spouse are ending the marriage on amicable terms, you could sit down together and share the news of the divorce to both of your families as well as mutual friends. If, on the other hand, the separation is not amicable, you could share your plan on how you are going to tell your family and let it naturally evolve. Don’t risk initiating a disagreement in front of friends and family.
Whether you make the announcement alone or together, consider which details are appropriate to share. Does the listener really need to know about everything going on in your situation? Once you’ve decided what information to share, gently resist any attempts to coax additional details out of you. Your story is yours alone to tell on your own time.
If your friends and family always had a close relationship with your spouse, there’s no reason for that to change unless he or she was abusing you without their knowledge. If you encourage a positive relationship on both sides, your children will also benefit.
Telling Your Employer
Divorce is a personal, not professional, issue, but if your work schedule has to be flexible temporarily due to appointments with your attorney, therapist, or a mediator, your boss needs to know. They will also be more likely to forgive decreased productivity if they know what’s going on. Speak to your HR department about extended health benefits that can help you through this challenging time.
For many couples, divorce is an emotional but necessary course of action. At Bliss Law Group, our ultimate goal is to guide you through the process and help you get ready for a new chapter in your life. If you’re looking for an attorney to help you through this time, call 253-844-4412 today.