Before you decide this message doesn’t apply to you, take a moment to think about yourself. Only you. The children still will be there. Your ex will too. Raising a family is tough; raising a family when you are divorced is another layer of difficult. But for right now, think about yourself as an individual being who needs to find a new way to manage life. Being single doesn’t mean being alone. It does mean you alone get to choose how to thrive!
Chances are your parenting plan is in place, your ex and you have separate places where you are raising your children, and most days require thinking about other people’s schedules and feelings. There is another aspect of divorce that doesn’t get addressed when papers are being signed and a new way of life is being created. YOU. As you settle into a new way of raising your family, there is a part of living that you get to create 100% by yourself, for yourself. Let’s think about the new you and what lies ahead!
Getting Ready
Before the major make-over, new partner, new social life and more, take some time to prepare for what lies ahead. Plan time to be alone and enjoy activities that are meaningful to you. Try something new. What a great opportunity to reinvent and rediscover yourself. Here are some suggestions:
- Journal: Write about your feelings, your goals, your awesome future.
- Read: Personal development & self-help are great, but don’t forget to lose yourself in fiction.
- Meditate: Headspace is a great app if you’ve never meditated before.
- Draw, paint, sculpt: Get creative.
- Yoga: Both relaxing and good for your body.
- Cook: Not kid-friendly… What do YOU enjoy?
- Clean: Get rid of the clutter and the memories that don’t feel good.
- Reconnect: Make phone calls and talk to people you haven’t seen in a while.
Getting Set
Pandemic or not, socializing most likely looks different since the last time you were single. Instead of thinking about what was, use your time to design a you that benefits from being able to do adult activities. Start by venturing out on your own. Go somewhere you want, when you want! Just remember to wear a mask.
- The park
- A long drive
- A place of worship
- Shopping
- Exercise
- Walk in the neighborhood
- Kayak
- Hike
- Fish
- Golf
- Volunteer
- Drop off a treat for essential workers.
- Pick up trash in your neighborhood.
- Plant flowers for others to see.
Getting to Go
Taking the time to discover what the “new” you enjoy will prepare you for getting going once you are able to socialize in groups again. Remember to focus on what’s ahead, what’s an opportunity, and what makes you happy. The social part of socializing will happen naturally if your intention is to enjoy yourself.
Remember to be grateful for each day. Yes, even the bad days deserve to be acknowledged. Maybe you are just grateful the bad day is over! Tomorrow begins as the perfect day, so keep moving forward. Also, whenever you can laugh, remember the benefits that laughter gives you, not only emotionally but physically as well.
In conclusion, being alone again has the potential for so many positives. Remember to laugh and enjoy the new you. Others will join in naturally.